Home Is Where The Heart Is

dirtygoldfish:

modusponies:

finalellipsis:

thefrogman:

In today’s world, home defense is very focused on protecting you from burglars and gun toting psychopaths. But what if wielding dinky knives is not enough?

Guns are effective, but they can be complicated and dangerous to handle. 

And do you know what guns and knives won’t protect you against?

That’s why you need a goddamn Two Handed Great Sword.

This 6 pound 4.5 foot long battle sword will bifurcate a viking like a hot knife through butter. If Huns ever decide to invade your homestead, you can chop off all their heads with one mighty swing. And if they start to run away after seeing this steel beast between your legs… just throw it at the fuckers. 

For just $350 you can pick up this bad boy and have the piece of mind that when armored medieval thugs break down your door, you have the tool necessary to disembowel them with ease. Get the Cold Steel Two Handed Great Sword today.

why not

oh fuck

Fuck Snuggies and Shamwows and all that shit — this is what I would buy late at night.

oh the fun I could have

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    If you’ve never watched the Cold Steel videos, you’re not living life right.

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    oh the fun I could have

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    But wait, there’s more! Call now and we’ll throw in this other cool thing….

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